Tag Archives: burnout

Positive Anticipation

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Just as anticipation of demanding events can make us more tense, anticipation of something wonderful happening in the future can make us feel joyful right now.  Particularly during stressful times, anticipating a fun and exciting event can lift our spirits.

This is exactly why it’s so important to have positive plans in our future.  As we traverse through stressful times, if all we can see are more demands and, at best, a few mundane happenings, our anticipation will be primarily negative.  It must be balanced out.  Yet too often we leave planning for fun in the hands of others.

Personally, I’ve learned that during stressful times I have a tendency to quit planning for fun – or for much of anything, for that matter.  It’s at these times I know I need to push through my anxiety and make some happy plans. When worry has a hold on you, this is the best time to create something good to anticipate.  It can be something small such as lunch with a friend.  Or something much larger, like a vacation.  Either way, when we have something fun to anticipate, it makes us hopeful in the present.

Anticipation of positive events brings hope and hope is a perfect emotion to balance out our worries.

Relax. Refresh. Renew.

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The first post here this week is on Tuesday instead of Monday because I’m coming off a relaxing long weekend.  Sure, every moment wasn’t stress-free, but overall I’m feeling refreshed because I was able to spend time away from home enjoying dear friends.  And I had a massage, too!

While I tend to be a person on the move, I’m also someone who recognizes the need to take time to recharge.  Unfortunately, the momentum most of us have in our lives is to go, move, do instead of relax, refresh, renew.  It seems contrary, but we need to plan to relax.  Deliberately recline.  Purposefully stop and do nothing.

As I say to my kids, “need” is a strong word and I deliberately use it here.  We do need to relax.  Why?  According to the experts at Mayo Clinic, there are many health benefits to relaxation.

Practicing relaxation techniques can reduce stress symptoms by:

  • Slowing your heart rate
  • Lowering blood pressure
  • Slowing your breathing rate
  • Increasing blood flow to major muscles
  • Reducing muscle tension and chronic pain
  • Improving concentration
  • Reducing anger and frustration
  • Boosting confidence to handle problems

To get the most benefit, use relaxation techniques along with other positive coping methods, such as exercising, getting enough sleep, and reaching out to supportive family and friends.

This you know.  We all know these things because when we take time to truly relax we can feel it way down in our core.  We feel healthier.  We feel happier.  We are, simply, less stressed.

Feeling stressed?  Relax.  Refresh.  Renew.

Time For Self-Discovery

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When was the last time you discovered something new about yourself?  Dramatic events like leaving or losing a job, changing geographical location, or having a child leave home often create an environment where we may become introspective.  But we don’t have to wait for a dramatic event; we can take a look inward at any time.

What the above-described events do is create space, a noticeable pause.  You see we must be quiet in order to learn about ourselves.  And we must take time.  Time to read.  Time to write things down.  Time to think.

Unfortunately, the most precious, fleeting, consumed thing we have is time, which we often reserve to give to others.  Spending time alone simply to renew seems, somewhat understandably, selfish.

To paraphrase a tweet made by Simon Sinek, we wrestle with the paradox of being selfish and selfless.  True selflessness requires energy and a solid understanding of who we are.  Without that, our acts of generosity can become needy, robotic or inappropriately placed.  To be selfless we must from time to time be selfish.  We must fill the tank.  Put on our own mask before assisting others.

So, when was the last time you discovered something new about yourself?  If it’s been a while, perhaps it’s time to slow down long enough to hear your own thoughts, challenge your ideas, and push yourself a little further than you’ve gone before.

Take A Vacation!

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It’s June!  It’s summer!  Where are you going on your summer vacation?  What?  No plans yet?  Yes… you can take a vacation.

You know that vacations improve your health, create stronger connections with your travel partners, and expand your view of the world.  There are those of you who know this and travel; there are those of you who know this and think you can’t.

As I’ve said here before, there’s little else that makes me crazier than hearing “I can’t.”  Here’s a few ways to help you consider how you can.

  • Vacation where you are.  Sure, the “stay-cation” is the latest trend… but there is something to it.  Almost everyone neglects some interesting things in their own city or town that tourists check out when they visit.  Within 100 miles of your home there are bound to be museums, historical sites, hiking or biking trails,  or unique eateries that you haven’t yet explored.  Take a day or a long weekend and check them out.
  • Plan.  When my sister-in-law decided to put away $50 from each paycheck, she had enough money to go to an all-inclusive resort in the tropics within 12-24 months.  Each of her family members did this and they were all able to go together.  Even small amounts add up over time.  Give up your daily coffee or eating out once a week and put it in a travel account.
  • Be prepared.  My husband traveled to Europe for the first time FREE because he had his passport ready to go.  Another friend traveled to China at a reduced cost because a friend asked her to join her on business travel.  If you don’t have a passport, you’ll never get out of the country.  If you do, you might.
  • Make vacationing a priority.  I mentioned this week that my parents were fans of extensive road trips (from Fargo, ND we DROVE to South Padre Island, TX and to Banff in Alberta, Canada – and we’ve done this with our kids as well).  Growing up on a farm, the only way my parents could escape work was to physically leave.  So we did, whether we had money or not.  Years without money included very rustic camping and some hotels we’d rather forget.  But we also created memories that last a lifetime.

Regardless of how you choose to travel, I encourage you to figure out a way to take a real break from the day-to-day.  Because yes, you can take a vacation.

Coaching Challenge: Strengths

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You have strengths and you need to be using them.  Every day.  In all that you do.  This week I’m challenging you to do so.

Here we go….

  • Still haven’t taken the time to figure out exactly what your strengths are? Use one or all of these methods to find out a little more about yourself.  Keep in mind, this is NOT something you can ask of someone else – only you know what makes you feel strong so only you can do this work.  Also, each of these looks at strengths from differing angles, so it’s not overkill to do them all.
  • Find ways that you can use your strengths each day.  I described how I do it in yesterday’s post.  Of course, you can’t very effectively do this if you haven’t done the work in the first bullet.  So go, get to it!
  • As Danielle LaPorte suggests, find ways to do more of what you love each day.  I will expand that and add: find ways to do more things that strengthen you each day.  In time you’ll be doing more of what you love and what strengthens you and less of what you loathe and depletes you.

People who use their strengths are happier and more successful, more balanced and less stressed.  All fantastic reasons to focus on that which makes you feel strong.

What Strengthens You?

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Preparing for a presentation last week, I was reminded again how important it is for each of us to use our strengths in all that we do.  It’s also surprising to me that I’ve only posted about doing so a handful of times.  I’ve never devoted a week to the topic.  It’s about time.

Before we get too far in, it’s important that we’re all on the same page when it comes to defining “strengths.”

Here’s the thing… what you are good at is not necessarily the same as your strengths.

What?

That means that every time you were asked about your strengths in job interviews and you rattled off everything you are good at, you were probably answering a different question than the one that was asked. Your skills do not equal your strengths.

Strengths strengthen you. If you do something well and you hate it, it demotivates you, and it leaves you weary, then it is definitely not one of your strengths. You can also think of these as “burnout skills,” a good perspective when thinking about how what we do well can actually fry our spirits.

Quoting from Marcus Buckingham, a leader in strengths-based leadership: “You can be good at something – even really good at something – and still hate doing it. If that’s the case, then you definitely should not consider that activity a strength, because doing it will leave you feeling drained, weakened and depleted. Building your career around that kind of activity is not a recipe for long-term success.”

So what strengthens you? What, when you are done, leaves you feeling like you haven’t really worked at all? This is your gift, your genius work. You’ll hear it referred to many ways but really, it’s all the same thing. These are your strengths.

And doing what strengthens you not only makes you stronger, it also makes you happier and your life more balanced.

Stay tuned to learn more…

Where Does The Time Go?

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Do you know where your time goes?

If we’re going to get control of our time and schedules, we have to first know what the starting point is.  As with any situation where a change must be made, knowing the stone cold reality is a must.  Honesty with oneself is key.

In order to do that, you’ll have to consciously pay attention to what you do for a day or two or a week.  And you’ll have to tell the truth.  Did you spend 30-minutes taking to a coworker about his weekend?  When you cruise Facebook while on a conference call, which is getting your full attention and how would you honestly count that time?  Do you find a way to be productive while your computer is booting up or while an important program is experiencing “technical difficulty?”  Do you truly seek to use each minute productively?

And yes, this will create some overhead as you record what it is that you do.  The thing with time management is that there often must be an up-front investment of time to reap benefits.

Once you have an idea of what it is you are doing, then you can look to make changes.  Are you doing what you want and need to be doing?  Could you schedule a break or lunch with your Monday Chat Coworker?  What can you do to stay focused in conference calls (if you can’t, perhaps you aren’t able to find what purpose you have in being there and should drop it from your calendar)?  How can you be more productive during “down time?”

It requires a lot of discipline to have true control of our time.  As the American businessman Jim Rohn is credited with saying, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”  To have what we really want, including a schedule that is within our control, we need to have the discipline to make it happen.

Yes, I’m a coach ~ and I’m also a keynote speaker, retreat planner and business consultant as well.  Learn more about the services I offer by navigating to my company website, Breakthrough Strategies.

The Choice Is Yours

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“Oh, I’m too busy to….”

Complete the sentence with what you’ve said or what others have said to you.  To check Facebook, to go to coffee with a friend, to exercise, to go on vacation, to watch T.V., etc., etc., etc.

No you’re not.

Millions of people do all those things.  Often.  Sometimes every day.  Do you really think you’re busier than all of them?  I don’t.  I think you’ve prioritized differently than all of them.

Not everyone, but many who use the “I’m too busy to…” line also wear the my-crazy-life martyr hat as well.  After all, all the things these people must do have been thrust at them, right?

Wrong.  Each one of us has more control over our lives and our time than we take.

Read that again.

You are busy because you have made yourself busy.  Of course, kid events, charities, church and work are important.  But the time they take from your life is completely up to you.

So next time you hear yourself beginning to say, “Oh, I’m too busy to…” remember that the truth is more like, “I choose other events and activities before doing….”

And the choice is yours.

Check out this week’s Coaching Tip on improving productivity!

Just Getting Through Today

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Maybe this week isn’t a good week for you to figure out what it is that you want so that you can fix your eyes on the horizon.  Perhaps the end of your workday is the only destination you can see right now.  Looking to the future means getting to 5:00PM on Friday without quitting or giving someone a piece of your mind.  The future, it seems, is tomorrow and beyond that… well, it will just have to take care of itself.

Sound familiar?  Well, I hope not… but for some, it’s reality.  And if you aren’t there now, you likely can remember a time when a job, a relationship or a situation left you feeling like there was little hope of anything ever changing.

What to do?

When those doldrums take hold, we need to take charge.  Here are a few ways to create an attitude change when circumstances have you down.

  • Take care of yourself.  When the focus is on the immediate negative circumstance, it seems that this is also the time when we give up exercising, choose to have a glass of wine to unwind, or avoid friends who might provide a blessed pick-me-up.  Remember to breathe.  Eat right.  Get a good night’s sleep.  These things all help with perspective and provide more willpower to take on the next day.
  • Remember who’s in charge.  That’s right; it’s you.  When we can take an honest look at where we are and what we can do about it, that’s when circumstances begin to change.  Even if it’s only a little bit at a time.
  • Release.  Stress has a way of building when bottled up inside.  Find an understanding confidant.  If it’s too personal, find time to exercise or write or whatever it is that allows for stress to be channeled outside of you.  If needed, hire a professional to help you through this time.
  • Recognize and acknowledge the good stuff.  Every day things happen that we can be grateful for.  Challenge yourself to complete the Three Blessings exercise each night.  Thank God, the heavens, your luck or the universe when something happy happens.  Don’t let the little things slip by you.
  • Remember, this too shall pass.  Really, Grandma was right.  As the familiar bible passage and The Byrds remind us, to everything there is a season and seasons always change.

Finally, sometimes simply getting through today – or even this moment – really is enough.  Accepting that alone can bring welcome relief.

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Employee Engagement – Are You Engaged?

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How engaged you are at work is your responsibility.  Sure, when disengagement rears its ugly head there are definitely circumstances and people we might choose to blame.  But when it comes down to it, we decide every morning how committed we will be that day – how much of our energy, expertise and engagement we will muster up to get the job done.

According to research done by Blessing White, worldwide only about one-third of us are engaged at work.  While that doesn’t mean everyone else is actively disengaged, many people show up apathetic routinely.

Taking responsibility for our own well-being can be difficult, particularly in the midst of layoffs and reduced resources.  Given the state of the economy, many feel stuck where they are – and feeling stuck doesn’t lend itself to feeling engaged.

So how can this be changed?  The authors of the Blessing White study offer these suggestions:

  • Own your engagement.  You come to work with motivators, interests and talents and cannot expect your employer to provide an exact set of tasks or conditions to fit your personal definition of meaningful work.  You are responsible for your personal and professional success.
  • Be clear on your core values and goals.  If you don’t know what’s important to you, you can’t find it in your current job – or potentially in any other.
  • Take action.  You need to take the initiative to build your skillset, articulate your interests, satisfy your core values, and identify ways to apply your talents to achieve the goals of the organization.  Initiate conversations with your manager about reshaping your job, clarifying work priorities, or finding the support you need in your role.

You alone know what makes your work meaningful.   You alone know what makes you feel successful.  Take responsibility for how engaged you are at work.  After all, it is up to you.

Interested in learning more? A copy of the 2011 Employee Engagement report is available for download from the Blessing White website.

Coaching Challenge: Vacation

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In making the case for taking vacation time, I hope a few of you began to think about adding this important piece to your health regimen.  To solidify it, here are a few vacation and traveling challenges for you to consider.

Here we go…

  • Schedule a day off.  Send the request to your manager today.  Have it coincide with a day your kids have off so you can explore a museum or zoo.  Or land it randomly in an upcoming week so you can spend a restoring day at a spa, driving in the country, or cross-country skiing in a city park.  Do what you want to do.  Feel your stress level go down…
  • Dream.  I find that when I dream of traveling, soon I am.  Buy a copy of a travel magazine or, better yet, subscribe.  (Budget Travel is one of my favorites – because I’m a bit of a cheapskate.)  Make a bucket list.  Sure, you might not get to all the places you want to go.  But if you dream about it, you may get to some.
  • Plan.  Have a dream spot in mind?  An event you don’t want to miss?  Friends or family you haven’t seen in too long?  How can you make it happen?  Figure out how much money and time it will take and then start working toward it today.  If you don’t start, the likelihood of your trip happening at all will decrease.
  • Find something in your community you haven’t done before.  Do it.
  • Get your passport.  You’re sure to never leave your country if you don’t have one.
  • Change your thinking.  Next time you hear yourself say, “I can’t afford to travel,” or “I can’t take time off from work,” say instead “How can I find the money to travel?” and “What would I have to do to plan time away from work?”  Get creative.  Allow the possibility.

That’s a lot to do!  You better get right on it if you’re going to get out of here anytime soon!

Yes, You Can Take A Vacation

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You know that vacations improve your health, create stronger connections with your travel partners, and expand your view of the world.  There are those of you who know this and travel; there are those of you who know this and think you can’t.

As I’ve said here before, there’s little else that makes me crazier than hearing “I can’t.”  Here’s a few ways to help you consider how you can.

  • Vacation where you are.  Sure, the “stay-cation” is the latest trend… but there is something to it.  Almost everyone neglects some interesting things in their own city or town that tourists check out when they visit.  Within 100 miles of your home there are bound to be museums, historical sites, hiking or biking trails,  or unique eateries that you haven’t yet explored.  Take a day or a long weekend and check them out. 
  • Plan.  When my sister-in-law decided to put away $50 from each paycheck, she had enough money to go to an all-inclusive resort in the tropics within 12-24 months.  Each of her family members did this and they were all able to go together.  Even small amounts add up over time.  Give up your daily coffee or eating out once a week and put it in a travel account. 
  • Be prepared.  My husband traveled to Europe for the first time FREE because he had his passport ready to go.  Another friend traveled to China at a reduced cost because a friend asked her to join her on business travel.  If you don’t have a passport, you’ll never get out of the country.  If you do, you might.
  • Make vacationing a priority.  I mentioned this week that my parents were fans of extensive road trips (from Fargo, ND we DROVE to South Padre Island, TX and to Banff in Alberta, Canada – and we’ve done this with our kids as well).  Growing up on a farm, the only way my parents could escape work was to physically leave.  So we did, whether we had money or not.  Years without money included very rustic camping and some hotels we’d rather forget.  But we also created memories that last a lifetime.

Regardless of how you choose to travel, I encourage you to figure out a way to take a real break from the day-to-day.

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Really, You Need A Vacation

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Have you ever been in a meeting with someone and thought – or muttered under your breath – “SHE needs a vacation!”?  There’s a reason we’ve all done this – it’s because we inherently know that going on a vacation releves stress.

So why has it been so long since YOU took one?

Many studies have shown the benefits of vacations to our health.  Specifically, those folks who don’t take vacations are more prone to heart attacks and other nasty consequences.  (You can check out one article here… and there are many more if you search.)  In the short term, vacationing improves your sleep and reaction times as well.

Personally, I know that even vacations that have had stressful moments (and most do) have resulted in a calmer me upon my return home.  And just as family memories are built on short trips as well as longer ones, even taking a day to just be at home with no obligations can serve as the mini-vacation I sometimes need.

So figure out when you can take a break – for your health.

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Coaching: Status Quo

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I’m traveling and for the first time am posting via my phone. Technology is so cool! Doing this definitely pushes me outside of my comfort zone, beaking me free from the status quo. It isn’t always the big things that move us in a new direction.

Now let’s focus on you! Grab a pen and paper (or your iPad) to record your answers.

Here we go…

How would you describe your status quo? The usual? The same today as yesterday? What are you willing to do to push yourself outside your comfort zone? Have you become complacent? Author John Maxwell says that when we become complacent, we begin to die. Strong words… But do you revognize yourself in them? If so, how would you like to change?

Perhaps you’re living with a status quo that’s truly burning you out. What are you accepting about your circumstance that you wish you weren’t? What can you do to set yourself on a healthier path? Who can help you do that?

Like a butterfly emerging from it’s caccoon, find a way to break free from the status quo. Fly toward your dreams.

Retired In Place

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As I thought about today’s post, I couldn’t get this one out of my head… so here it is again.

Since this post, I’ve seen this state referred to as “Retired in Place.”  My experience was a bit more dramatic than simply retiring, but I had left just the same.

Originally posted July 18th as “Burnout!”  Enjoy!

Are you suffering from burnout?

Boy, I sure have. I’ve cried in corporate bathrooms. Lashed out at co-workers. Taken my stress out on family. I’ve jokingly said that a job was taking years away from my life that I could otherwise spend with my future grandchildren.

But burnout isn’t funny at all. Laughing about how much we attempt to balance is just a way to try to get through it. Justify it somehow.

I recently came across an article on burnout that really brought back memories for me. And not very good ones, I’ll say. The women cited in the article that truly burned out reminded me of when I left the job that sent me to the bathroom to cry several times each week. As I had my final meeting with my manager he asked, “Why did you give up?”

And I had. In my head I can replay the moment when I gave up because it was all too much and I didn’t think I had the support I needed to get through it. What I didn’t know is that anyone else knew that I’d quit in my head.

Of course they did and as the author points out in the article, the people around those suffering from burnout know as well. They’re just waiting to see how much longer the individual can hold it all together.

As I said, I left the job but I didn’t leave the company I was working for. I don’t think a person has to jump ship in order to regain control – though sometimes it may be necessary. Finding a way to use our strengths is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to find balance and to move away from that burned out state.

More on strengths here…

How Is The Status Quo Working For You?

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You may be wondering… What does Carolyn have against the status quo?  What’s so wrong about simply being and enjoying where one is in life?

Nothing.  Nothing at all… so long as you are truly enjoying where you are.  So long as you are challenged and growing instead of getting stagnant or irrelevant.  So long as you are being honest with yourself.

How can you tell if you’re being honest with yourself?

Oftentimes it’s quite easy to know when it’s time to leave the status quo behind.  Other times we get complacent and comfortable with the status quo.  The question I’d ask is this: how is that working for you?  If the status quo supports your long-term vision and goals ~ whoo hoo!  Why mess with what’s working?  But if you’re just doing what’s easy and expected, you might want to take another look at how the status quo is working for you.

“Enjoy all you have while pursuing all you want.”  ~Jim Rohn, entrepreneur, author, motivational speaker

 Check out this interview with me from the Dale Carnegie ND online magazine!

Breaking Free

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Thanks to an enlightening business conversation with a consultant friend of mine, I’ve been thinking about the “status quo” and how, at various times in our lives, we really need to break free from the usual.

Speaking from my own experience, breaking free from the status quo is what I needed to do when I chose to begin my own business. Not to say that the status quo is all bad. In fact, from the outside looking in it can seem like your status quo is a pretty good gig. Of course, that can make it all the harder to move toward something new when friends, family and coworkers think that you’ve lost your mind as you consider your future.

Remember: it’s not about them. It’s about you.

Only you know when your focus has left the building. When your passion has begun to wane. When what used to energize you now drains you. When you dread getting out of bed each morning because of the promise of what lies ahead.

And only you know when it’s time to break free.

Coaching: Willpower

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This week may have been an eye-opener and a little disappointing, perhaps.  After all, it’s much easier lay blame for not reaching our goals on a lack of willpower, thinking we have little to do with how much we’ve been given.  Some people seem to have so much discipline and self-control that it must be genetically given, right?

Well, even if there is a grain of truth to that, you can work your way to being one of them.  Key word: work.  Want to reach your goals?  Managing your willpower and ego depletion is must.

With that in mind, let’s dig in to this week’s mini coaching engagement.  Given that clarity comes more quickly with writing things down, I encourage you to grab a pen and paper and really think about your answers.

Here we go…

By what hour in the day do you feel like your willpower has been totally depleted?  Observing yourself, what cycles do you notice?  What hours are better for you?  What’s sapping your willpower?  Who is sapping your willpower?  Remember that you have a finite amount of willpower each day.  How can you rearrange your day to take the most advantage these morning reserves?

How effectively are you fueling this power?  Skipping breakfast, reaching for a third cup of coffee, or snacking on candy mid afternoon may all play into the willpower cycles you identified above.  What can you do to serve your body better?  What needs to change to even out the cycles?

If you identified an hour that is particularly bad – say the first hour at home when you crash at the end of your workday – what can you do to bump up your self-control before walking through the door?

This week provided a very limited view of what can be done to boost willpower.  If you’re interested in learning more be sure to grab a copy of Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney.

You can find all books mentioned in this blog online at the Coach Carolyn Store.

Ego Depletion

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Before we dive into what can be done to increase – or at least not deplete – our willpower, I think you’ll find it useful to understand what sorts of activities tap into our willpower reserves.  Roy F. Baumeister, author of Willpower, began referring to the process of willpower exhaustion as “ego depletion” years ago, a term that the psychological community uses frequently.

When I think about willpower, I tend to think of the control I have over a particular act.  Choosing to skip dessert.  Popping in the DVD to begin my exercise routine.  Limiting my clothing budget.  Not yelling when I want to scream at someone.  Those sorts of things…

Turns out that we are in an ego depleting state for about four hours a day.  Four hours!  This is because there are, according to Baumeister and his coauthor, John Tierney, actually four categories of ego depletion:

  • Controlling our thoughts,
  • Controlling our emotions,
  • Impulse control, and
  • Performance control.

So my limited view on willpower only included impulse control, not the other three.  And we are doing the other three all the time, are we not?

If you think about the last rough day you had at work, you likely had to persevere when you felt like quitting (performance control), controlled your thoughts so you could do so, and maybe even held back tears or forced a smile when you really weren’t feeling that way inside.  All day long.  When you got home perhaps you dropped into a chair instead of exercising, snapped at your spouse, or grabbed a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for supper instead of eating a nutritious meal.  You hit the bottom of your willpower bucket, ego completely depleted.

What to do?  The first piece of advice given in Willpower and by other goal-setting theorists is to do one thing at time.  Rough patch at work?  Not the time to quit smoking.  Decided to quit smoking?  Not the time to change jobs.  Moving to a new position at work?  Not the time to start exercising after a multi-year hiatus.

Too often we decide that everything is wrong and so we’re going to fix it all at once.  Then we fail and declare that we have no willpower.  Well, that’s exactly true because our daily allocation of willpower was quickly depleted.

And now you know why.

Learn more about the relationship between realizing goals and willpower in my Goal Setting Workshop next month.  Reserve your spot today!

Coaching: Bad Bosses

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Strolling down my bad-boss memory lane hasn’t exactly been a treat for me – but it has served as a reminder that in every situation something can be learned.  We started out the week with the premise that “a bastard can teach you a lot.”  While true, I would never be an advocate of staying with a bad boss any longer than one needed to do so.  It’s possible to find something positive from a negative relationship.  But it is also possible for you to go down with a sinking ship if you stay too long.

For today’s coaching engagement there are two scenarios for you to consider about a bad boss you have had or have now.  If you’ve never had a bad boss, consider yourself lucky and have a celebratory break because this post isn’t for you.  Everyone else, grab a pencil and paper to write down your answers.

Here we go…

The idea of finding good from a past negative experience can assist in moving us forward to a more positive place.  Mulling over what went wrong or how awful a boss was to us ultimately will get us nowhere.  So the question is, how much power are you still allowing a bad boss to have over your current career?  How have you recovered from the blow to your confidence?  How much of what your bad boss said to or about you do you believe?  How does believing that serve you?  What can you do to move on from that situation?  What learning did you take away from the experience?

If you are still under the supervision of a bad boss, how are you doing?  How much more are you willing to take?  Have you learned the lesson you will take away from the relationship?  If so, is it time to move on?  If you stay where you are, how will it impact your career?  Simply no way out?  Here are a few tips on how to deal with the situation.

Having a bad boss isn’t the end of the world – or your career.  How you react to the experience will make all the difference in the world – and all the difference in your career.  Choose wisely.