Tag Archives: goal setting

Lessons from Walt

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The following post about Walt Disney is one of the most read pieces I’ve published.  Turns out lots of people are looking for information on Walt’s perseverance.  In any event, I’ve been reminded again how important it is for us to persevere even when we’re tired – maybe especially when we’re tired – of keeping at something.

Well, have you been trying for twenty years?  Me neither.  Keep pressing on….

Walt Disney’s Perseverance  Originally posted February 22, 2011

Travel with me back in time to 1938. It was four years past the original book release of Mary Poppins and Walt Disney made his first attempt to gain rights to transfer the beloved story to film. Mickey Mouse was a big hit and this was the year that Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was released, winning Disney an Oscar (accompanied by seven miniature statues). Really, the Snow White story provides another wonderful example of perseverance, but I’ll try to stay on track.

Anyway, 1938 was a big year for Walt (understatement), so you’d think that when he approached Helen Lyndon Goff (pen name P. L. Travers) she would have been flattered at the opportunity to work with him on a film adaptation of Mary Poppins; but no. Turns out that she didn’t think a film version of her books would do justice to her story; she didn’t want it to be turned into a cartoon.

So Mr. Disney asked again… and again… and again… and again… for 20 YEARS! During that time he released animated classics like Pinocchio, Fantasia and Bambi. He opened Disneyland. He moved out of animated films with Treasure Island, Old Yeller and The Disney Club. These were the golden years of Disney and of course I can’t begin to do justice to these 20 years with a little paragraph here.

And yet year after year, he’d pick up the phone, send a letter, drop by – however it was that Mr. Disney courted Ms. Travers’s business – to try to get the rights to Mary Poppins.

Here’s my commentary: really? Why? How did he see the potential? Why was he so driven? Or was it just a crazy obsession because he’d been told no? And didn’t he have enough going on? Why this? We won’t know… but my mind wanders. Back to the story….

Finally, P. L. Travers gave in and the rest, as they say, is history. Mary Poppins released in 1964 as one of Disney’s most successful musicals. It won Oscars. Julie Andrews won an Oscar. The songs, editing, and visual effects added even more Oscars, resulting in a total of 13. (BTW – all this information is available on Wikipedia and Answers if you want even more information on the topic.)

As you can see, Walt Disney’s perseverance paid off. In my post yesterday, I cited this as something that I found more applicable to me personally than the “hey, look how they picked up after failure” stories. I can relate to doggedly going back to something that I think really needs to get done – just like Disney did with Mary Poppins. I know I wouldn’t have had the insight to see the potential in Mary Poppins, but I can think of things in my life that I shouldn’t give up on. For that I can learn a lesson from Walt.

Even if it takes 20 years.

Coaching Challenge: Learning

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I once heard a conference speaker say that as a manager he would pay for any sort of learning one of his employees wanted to pursue.  Often learning something in one area provides inspiration and insight to us in another.  He knew this.

Whether intentional or as a by-product of a life event, learning is foundational to growth and development.  If you can’t think of a few things you’ve learned over the past couple of days, it’s probably time to pay more attention.  Be more deliberate.

Here we go….

  • Is there something that you want to learn and haven’t yet?  What’s holding you back?  Make a plan to move toward the goal by figuring out whether it’s time, money, or some other commitment needed.  Find what it will take for you to execute and make a plan to get it done.
  • Next time you participate in an activity that isn’t what you usually do, take a few moments following the event and think about what it taught you.  What did you learn about yourself?  About your relationship with the individuals around you?
  • Pull an unread non-fiction book off your bookshelf and read it.  Read them all?  Buy a new one and read it.
  • We learn so much when we teach others.  What do you know that you can pass on?  What would you like to learn more about so that information can be shared?  Like the actions in the first bullet, make a plan to make it happen.

Finally, enjoy the process.  It’s not usually fun when we feel forced to learn something.  When a new topic or idea can be approached with a sense of curiosity and adventure, it’s then that we’re able to learn the most.

Coaching Challenge: Setbacks

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We all have setbacks throughout our careers and as we move toward our goals.  Sometimes it’s a deadline missed.  Other times it’s a hoped-for outcome that doesn’t come to pass.  And from time to time individuals can let us down.  Regardless of what’s happened, it’s important for each of us to take stock of what’s been learned and – more importantly – move ahead.

Have you had a recent setback that you haven’t quite gotten over yet?  Keep it in mind as we go through today’s coaching challenge.

Here we go….

  • Take time to write out what you’ve learned from this recent setback.  As much as possible, recognize the positive and those things that will provide wisdom as you continue toward your goal.
  • Once the list is complete, take a moment to be grateful. These lessons learned have made you smarter about what to do next.  Recognize this as a good thing.
  • If you find that you’re blaming someone else, decide to forgive and let it go.  Focus on what you could have done differently.  You can only change you.
  • Identify the next step you will take to move forward and make a plan to do it.
  • Going forward, decide now how you will react to the next setback you face.  Maybe you’ll set aside time to wallow and then be done.  Maybe you’ll go right into figuring out what you’ve learned.  Whatever it is, have a game plan.  There will be another setback.  Plan for it.

Finally, if resilience is something that isn’t your strength and if setbacks knock you out for quite a while, find someone to talk to about it or pick up a book on the topic.  Resilience can be learned and how you react to setbacks can make you stronger.

Coaching: Execution

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We can plan and dream all we want; however, until we actually begin to DO something, that’s all that will remain – plans and dreams.  Without execution, our plans and dreams will never become reality.

What have you been putting off?  What dream seems too big to move toward?  Or too small to bother with?  Pick a plan or a dream that has been hanging out there and keep it in mind as you plan to take action.

Ready to create a little momentum?

Here we go….

What one thing can you do to move closer to your goal?  Usually this first action is small – though it may not be.

Write it down.

As you consider this first step, what must you do to make it happen?  Is there a person you need to engage?  Time that should be set aside?  Additional information needed? Considering this, does your description of your action change?

Modify this first step so it is very specifically what you need to do to move forward.  Call so-and-so.  Set aside 30 minutes next week to do X.  Spend 60 minutes researching topic A.  Get to the nuts-and-bolts of what movement toward your goal means.

Now, write down the outcome you expect to achieve from your action.  This is the meat of what will move you toward your goal and it will help you gain momentum, giving you motivation to move to the next step.

Got it?  Once you realize that outcome, what will you do next?  Take this information and define the next action after that.  And the one after that.  Make a plan to keep executing.

Before you know it, your dream will be in reach.

It’s all about execution.

It’s Time To Do Your Dream

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Think about the power of putting action behind your dream.

To walk through the possibilities, let’s start with a “small” dream – taking a vacation. For many people taking a vacation seems like a dream out of reach.

“Work will fall apart without me.”

“We can’t afford it.”

“The clean-up when I get back to the office just isn’t worth it.”

Etc. Etc. Etc.

However, when we decide to follow our dream, each of these can be rebutted and actions taken to support the desired end result.

Work will fall apart without me. First, I’m only buying this one if you’re a one-person shop. You aren’t that indispensable and if you are, then perhaps you do need to leave so that others understand all that you do – but that’s a post for another day! Back to following the dream… if this is true, steps can be made to mitigate potential problems. This is your dream! Plan in advance; recruit others to help you; hire administrative help. Whatever it takes, you’ll get creative because you have a dream.

Can’t afford it? Give something up and start putting that money aside for your get-away. My sister-in-law once pointed out that just $50 a paycheck set aside would get her to a tropical island within a year. Or maybe your trip is a gift to yourself when you get a bonus or pay off a credit card. Again, with focus you could overcome this obstacle as well.

Clean-up not worth it? Well, I’d argue that it always is; but if I can’t convince you of that here’s a creative idea for those of you who live in an email centric world. I heard about someone who put on his out-of-office replies that all emails he received during his time away were headed right to the trash bin and if it was important, please send the email after he returned. Do you love this?!

All of these things take conscious effort. Without the dream as a guide, either the vacation might not take place or the concerns may actually be realized, reinforcing that vacations are tough to take, afford and return from. The dream helps make it better all around.

Now, think about the power of putting action behind your dream. Buying a lake home. Having a baby. Retiring. Changing careers. Buying new furniture. Going to college. Starting a business. Cleaning out the garage. Volunteering in Africa. Planning a family reunion.

The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do. ~Sarah Ban Breathnach

Do your dream.

Coaching Challenge: Dreaming

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It was a short week for blog posts so today’s coaching challenge will be short, too.  That doesn’t mean it won’t be challenging, though!

Here we go….

  • Identify a few of your little dreams that you’ve been pushing aside because they seem insignificant.  Or at least not important enough to prioritize.  Now, prioritize them.  Set some time aside in the next week to get one or two of these done.  And then, enjoy accomplishing your little dream.
  • Create a bucket list.  If you have one, update it.  Put it up in your office or cubical.  Prioritize the items.  Pick one to shoot for in the next year.
  • Ask someone else what is on his or her bucket list.  You’ll have a fun conversation.  I promise.

Whether you’re dreaming of something to do three years from now or next week, dreaming, like setting goals, gives us a sense of direction and purpose.  Move toward your dreams, both big and small.

Bucket List Dreams

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When I have the opportunity to speak on goal-setting, I always begin with a “Bucket List” exercise.  These dreams are long-term goals in disguise, which is why I start here.

Usually only about half the participants have thought about what they want to do, where they want to go, or things they want to acquire before they kick the proverbial bucket.  Regardless, every group dives in with amazing energy as they discuss, share, and compare their dreams.

There are always wannabe skydivers, fiscally responsible debt-payers, and sightseers to every corner of the planet.  There are also unique dreams which surface, too.  Either way, I’ve never seen anyone embarrassed by these dreams, common or not.  Instead, as ideas are shared everyone is challenged to grow their own list further.

Perhaps it’s a silly exercise.  After all, most of us will likely only be able to complete a portion of our list.  On the other hand, I’d rather have something to dream about; something to remind myself that I’m doing what I’m doing today so that I can fulfill a dream tomorrow.

Yes, some dreams are small.  But it’s fun to dream some big, bold dreams as well.

Checking an item off my bucket list in a hot air balloon over Sedona, AZ.

Dream A Little Dream

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Not all dreams need to be big ones.  In fact, some of our smaller dreams keep us motivated, delighted to do what we can to achieve them.  It’s often these little things that are ours alone.  Goals others might deem strange or at least not very dream-worthy.

So what.  Dream them anyway.

Planning a night out with friends.  Cleaning out that one closet or room.  Finding time to make a favorite seasonal dish.  Organizing your desk.  Having the greenest lawn on the block.  Spending a day at the spa.  Making your own cleaning solutions.

Whatever your little dream is, figure out a way to make it happen.  These little things give a sense of accomplishment that we just won’t get from anything else.  These are the things we do simply for ourselves.  Sure, someone else might also benefit.  But really, we’d be happy even if realizing our little dreams didn’t affect anyone else at all.

Go ahead.  Dream a little dream.

High Expectations

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The expectations we set for ourselves can be more unforgiving that those others set for us.  Oftentimes this can be good for us as we push ourselves further in our careers, exercise routines or other competitive situations.

This is true for me as well.  Regardless of what sort of personality assessment I take, if there’s a measurement for “competitive,” it’s usually off the charts.  The thing that’s interesting is that when people find this out about me they are usually surprised.

This is likely because my competitiveness doesn’t always show.  If you and I were in a race or working together or playing a game, I would likely not be competing with you.  I’m competing with myself.  I’m constantly comparing the success I have now to successes in my past in just about everything I do.

Why am I telling you this?

How this translates is that my expectations for myself get higher and higher (at least that’s the goal!) and subsequently I am harder and harder on myself regarding the level of success I should achieve.  And that can be incredibly difficult to maintain.

It doesn’t matter if I’m canning vegetables, getting a review score, or playing Solitaire on my phone, I want every batch, every review, every game to be better than the one before.  That can be pretty exhausting.

The good news is that I know this about myself.  Intellectually I know that every outcome can’t be better than the last.  I’m able to remind myself of this when my expectations aren’t met which helps me move on to the next goal.

So set those expectations high but remember that there’s likely a point where achieving better results every time simply isn’t possible.  When you miss the high bar that you set, recall your long-term ambitions and remember that over time you are improving as you continue to set high expectations for yourself.

Enjoy Today

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With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future.  I live now.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Live for today.  Something we hear all the time, isn’t it?  That said, we also are told to dream, set big goals, and look to the future as we make glorious plans.  How to do both?

I mentioned last week that in order to support my long-term goals, I might have to give up some comfort and convenience in the short term.  Since writing that I’ve been wondering, “Do I?”

Maybe.  But maybe not.  I do think there is opportunity for all of us to get too focused on what we want versus what we have.  And what we have is usually pretty darn good.  As the saying goes… the things you take for granted someone else is praying for.

So it all comes back to balance, I suppose.  Make choices for the future and also be happy with today.  As long as more choices are made to move ahead than to stay with the status quo, progress is being made.  Every comfortable and convenient thing in the present need not be abandoned.

After all, these are the things prayed for in the past.  We must enjoy today.

What Will You Give Up?

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Maybe it was a quote posted by a friend or in an email I received, but somewhere recently I was reminded that to move toward a goal oftentimes something must be given up to make it happen.

It’s been on my mind because I’ve been thinking about how, with my youngest headed back to school in a few days, I should reincorporate more structure into my day as I definitely lack discipline during the summer months.  Sure, I’ve managed to stay fairly active with exercising and I eat breakfast every day.  Other than that, my summer has lacked routine.

Also no secret is the fact that early risers and well-organized individuals get more out of their mornings and, therefore, their days.  I want to be one of those people, so I’m thinking that an early, consistent wake-up coupled with a morning routine will be just the thing to do.  The benefits will be multiple.

Unfortunately, that means I’ll have shut off the lights at an earlier hour than I’ve been.  The things I enjoy doing in the late night hours will have to go.

As I think about this, I realize that it will need to be a conscious decision to quit doing certain things in the evening so that I am able to go to bed earlier and, as a consequence, be able to get up without hitting the snooze button each AM.  If I fail to release those activities I’m sure to continue them; I’ll try to fit in too much and the result will be maintaining the status quo.

This give-and-take between priorities takes place all the time.  In order to be thin, calories must go.  To be debt-free, purchases have to be delayed or skipped.  If you want to take on a new job, the old one has to be left behind.

We can say we want to do or achieve something but until we make the commitment to let go of what’s holding us back, the likelihood of seeing that happen will be decreased.

So, what are you willing to give up to get what you want?

Coaching: Choices

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Have this week’s posts reminded you of a choice you’ve been struggling with? Putting off? Ignoring? Are you ready to put some more thought into making that decision and then, perhaps, going ahead and making it?

Got one in mind? Then let’s move ahead with this week’s mini coaching engagement.

Here we go…

You’ve delayed making a choice this long… what criteria do you need to have met in order to make your final decision? What internal or external obstacles do you have in making this decision?

Have you been waiting for someone else to make choices for you? Are you intentionally giving your power of decision away to them? What benefit are you receiving by passing on this power? Is it well placed?

And here’s a favorite question of mine to consider: If nothing changed from how it is today, what would the future look like? How does answering this question change your perspective on the importance of making this choice? Has it made it more important? Less?

After answering these questions, what will you do next? What will be your first step toward making your decision? How practical would it be to give yourself a deadline to make it? When you meet the above-defined criteria, how quickly will you make your choice after that?

What is clearer to you now? Are you ready?  Choose.

The Gift Of Choice

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Thinking about choices this week and going back to remind myself – and you – of what a gift it is to have choices in front of us.

The Gift of Decision Making Originally posted 7/13/2011

I am, as always, about halfway through reading four different books. I also have several un-read books on my yet-to-read shelf and a reading list at the ready on my nook. So when I knew that this week’s topic was going to be decision making, I finally picked upGet Off the Fence by Rhoda Makoff, Ph.D. and Jeffery Makoff, ESQ. I’m not done (see sentence #1), but I think this one will end up on my list of recommended readings.

At the very onset of the discussion, the Makoffs remind the reader that being able to make big decisions is a gift. It means that we’re alive; that we have choices. These are good things.

When was the last time you felt like a big decision was a good thing? OK, if your last major decision was to get married or have a child, of course it was good. But even those good decisions can leave us agonizing over whether our choices are the right ones.

The Makoffs also share a quote from General Omar N. Bradley who led the D-Day invasion of Normandy that marked the turning point of World War II in Europe. He said, “This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: We are given one life, and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind or whether to act and, in acting, to live.”

Please, go back and read it again. And maybe one more time. The more I read it, the more power his words seem to have.

Will you wait to for circumstances to make up your mind?

Or will you act and, in acting, live?

It is our decisions that define who we are. Letting circumstance or other people make our choices permits those things to shape our lives.

Making your own big decisions is a gift that allows you to have the life you choose.

Today’s Choices

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We know the benefit of setting long-term goals.  It’s easy to understand how our dreams can set a path for short-term goal setting, creating the road from here to there.  We know and understand… and then the time comes to make a decision.

It seems that if we set a goal for our future, short-term decisions should be easy. They’re not.  It may make our choices more clear, but that is often very different than easy.

Over the last few weeks making an easy, convenient choice has tempted my husband and me.  It even seemed like a reasonable choice to make.  But as we quit simply chatting about it and dug into what we should choose to do, it became clear (again) that making that easy, convenient choice didn’t support our long-term goals.

Sigh…

I really would love for the path to my dreams to be easy and convenient.  Evidently that isn’t going to be the case.  It will, however, be exciting and worth it when our dreams become reality.

It’s only going to happen if we make the right choices today.

Coaching: Habits

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While we all likely have bad habits we’d like to get rid of, the focus this week has been on creating new habits versus modifying old ones.  If you would like to explore ideas on how to change your current habits, pick up a copy of The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business to learn more.  For now, let’s look ahead to see how some new habits can be added to our daily routine.

Here we go….

What new habit or habits would you like to create?  Maybe you’d like to get to work on time, workout every day, get out of the office by a certain time, or incorporate healthy snacks into your day.  Pick one habit and then let’s go through the process of setting up a new habit.

First, what will be your cue?  As I learned about cues, I realized that these are very similar to primers, which have been discussed here before.  What can you put in your way to kick off the habit?  Setting an alarm on your phone?  Having a reminder pop up on your computer?  Setting an apple on your desk?  Pick whatever will work for you and your new habit.

Skipping ahead in the process, now think about what your reward will be.  It has to be a good one, a real reward for you.  If you make it to work on time, then you can grab your favorite coffee.  If you workout every day for a week, then you can reward yourself with $25 going into a clothing fund.  Whatever it is, be sure that it’s something that’s good for you.  It can be simple.  We brush our teeth every day because of that minty tingle that we get when we’re through.

Finally, do the routine.  Do it daily and as you do, keep your mind on the reward.  If it’s easy for you, great!  If it’s hard, be sure to apply the belief that you CAN make it happen.  If you tell yourself every day that you’ll never be able to get to work on time… you’ll be right.

Create a cue.  Do the routine.  Reward yourself.  And believe.

Creating New Habits

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Oftentimes habits are seen as negative as we think about all the bad habits we have (or think we have).  That aside, habits are necessary.  What if you had to actually make a decision regarding whether to brush your teeth today?  Or had to think about each step in the process of backing your car out of the driveway like you did when you were a beginner?  If our lives weren’t routine we’d be exhausted from all the willpower needed to navigate through the day.

When we encounter a new task, our brains light up as we navigate the unknown.  The more we do the task, the less brainpower it takes.  Because of this, on our commute we’re able to think about what we need to get done at work for the day instead of paying attention to each driving maneuver we make on the way there.

Any task that converts to a habit draws less on our willpower, leaving more for us to use in other ways.  So, how to create a new habit?  According to The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, it’s as simple and as difficult as this:

Want to exercise more? Choose a cue, such as going to the gym as soon as you wake up, and a reward, such as a smoothie after each workout.  Then think about the smoothie, or about the endorphin rush you’ll feel.  Allow yourself to anticipate the reward.  Eventually, that craving will make it easier to push through the gym doors every day.

Cravings are what drive habits.  And figuring out how to spark a craving makes creating a new habit easier.

It’s this cycle of “Cue – Routine – Reward,” topped off with craving the reward, which fuels all our habits.  Good or bad.

Finally, we need to believe it can be done.  Without this important piece, our new habits fall apart when we encounter stress.

Create a cue.  Do the routine.  Reward yourself.  And believe.

Play Goals

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We do not quit playing because we grow old; we grow old because we quit playing.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Happier people make time for playing in their lives.  Children are natural players.  Unfortunately, as we age we forget how to play and most of us rarely prioritize it.

Why bother with what seems like a frivolous activity?

In the book Creating Your Best Life, Caroline Adams Miller and Dr. Michael B. Frisch describe the benefits like this:

Playing games and being spontaneous make us smile.  Play goals also often involve learning new habits, making friends, getting fit, laughing, and exploring the world.  Psychologists note that humor is one of the most powerful antidotes to discouragement and pessimism.  Play also often puts us in a state of “flow” – where time stands still and we are completely engaged in the challenges in front of us – and it helps us restore our equilibrium and simply unwind or recharge our batteries when we need it most.

Play goals?  When I first read this – and even now – those two words stood out for me.  Who sets goals to play?

As I think about how I could bring more play into my own life, a few ideas have come to mind.  I’ll share them in hopes of getting your own creative ideas flowing.

I miss playing a musical instrument.  When I was a kid, I bounced from lesson to lesson, learning to play everything from the piano to the bassoon to the bass guitar.  I could set a goal around relearning to play – or I could pick up a new instrument again.

My workouts have become routine and a bit like work.  What could I do that would make working out more fun?  I’m going to do some research.

My teenager plays all the time – but mostly on his XBox.  I’m sure there are ways that we could play together as a family if we put our minds to it.  He’s always asking to play Monopoly! Maybe it’s time to establish a family game night.

Setting play goals.  Sounds odd, but perhaps it’s something we should all do so we don’t lose the playful spirit of our youth.

Coaching: Be Bold

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It’s time to be bold!  Even people with high levels of confidence have areas in their lives where they are less emboldened.  Bring to mind an area where you could be more confident and show more boldness as we go through this week’s coaching exercise.  I encourage you to really think about your answers and write them down.

Here we go….

Where or when would it be helpful to you to be bolder?  Is there an idea you’d like to get across at work?  A relationship where your feelings aren’t being taken into consideration?  An activity you’d like to try but are afraid to do?  Got it?

What first step can you take to move toward boldness?  Remember, you don’t have to be aggressive or brash.  Think confident and assertive instead.  Identify what you can do to lean into your discomfort.  What can you do to begin to remove the fear that’s held you back from being bold?  What will you do?  What will you say?  Who will be there?  How will they react?  Play the scenario out in your head.  Do you feel your confidence building?

Set a goal around this first step.  Include what you will specifically do and by when.  Write it down.  Put it in your calendar if you have to.  If you’re feeling really bold, tell someone else your plan.

Then go do it.  Be bold.

Focusing On A Deadline

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One way to ensure we stay focused is to be up against a deadline.  It doesn’t matter if the deadline is given to us or if we create it ourselves, but it must be inflexible as I wrote about back in December of last year.

The Power Of A Deadline

I had the absolute pleasure of hosting a girlfriend gathering last night.  As I maneuvered the floor cleaner across the tile before they arrived, I joked about how inviting people over is a great way to get the house cleaned up.  Amazing what a little pressure and a deadline will do for our motivation, isn’t it?

It’s the same in business. When I was a project manager I found that I needed to set deadlines in order to keep myself and others on task. Even now as an entrepreneur I must find ways to hold myself accountable to be sure I move forward with the work that needs to be done.

Turns out research supports this need as well. A study mentioned in Willpower by Baumeister and Tierney shows that students with a propensity to procrastinate will push out completing work when they know a deadline is flexible. To the point, even, of leaving so much work until the end that the project cannot be completed.

Which brings us back to me cleaning my floors yesterday afternoon… I had an inflexible deadline because I knew someone would walk through the door around 7:00 PM and I knew exactly what I needed to get done before that time. So I did. Did my floors need cleaning before yesterday?  With three people and three dogs living in the house, most certainly!  But by having a deadline I finally prioritized the work.

Funny, I also finished getting my expenses into QuickBooks yesterday.  I have a meeting with my accountant today. See a pattern?

Deadlines are not just given to us by others. They are something we can create on our own, complete with accountability and the rigidity needed to make them powerful.

What work have you been putting off? Perhaps it’s time to give yourself a deadline.

Distracting Opportunities

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Have you ever been distracted by an opportunity?

While catching up with a fellow coach recently, she shared with me an opportunity that had come to her and her son’s company.  She stated all the reasons it seemed like a good thing to do but, it turned out, the positives disappeared when they looked at the bottom line.

Everything that presents itself as an opportunity may not be an opportunity for you.  And when it isn’t an opportunity, it’s a distraction.

These opportunities come to us all dressed up and looking good.  They feed our egos, get us dreaming a little, and – if it’s not a true opportunity – can move us away from our mission.

Unfortunately, these so-called opportunities aren’t easy to identify when they first come our way.   A few things to watch out for:

  • An exclusive “deal” – Our egos are stroked when we are told that someone wants to work only with us or has come to us first.  This doesn’t mean it’s a good deal or a good fit.  Check your ego at the door and analyze the situation objectively.
  • Offers or suggestions to do something you already decided not to do.  Again, it’s flattering to be asked and to have your value recognized; however, you decided against it before.   What’s changed?
  • Any request to do something that leads you away from your primary goals and long-term vision.  Opportunities that are almost a fit cause us to stray from the path we have defined for ourselves and take our eyes away from what it is that we should truly be striving toward.

At the end of our conversation, we both realized that there were plenty of so-called opportunities that had distracted us and burned valuable time and energy.  I’m living, learning, and hoping that less and less time will be spent on pseudo opportunities that pump up my ego and more time will be spent on those real opportunities that will get me to the goals I want to achieve.