Tag Archives: health

Yes, You Can Take A Vacation

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You know that vacations improve your health, create stronger connections with your travel partners, and expand your view of the world.  There are those of you who know this and travel; there are those of you who know this and think you can’t.

As I’ve said here before, there’s little else that makes me crazier than hearing “I can’t.”  Here’s a few ways to help you consider how you can.

  • Vacation where you are.  Sure, the “stay-cation” is the latest trend… but there is something to it.  Almost everyone neglects some interesting things in their own city or town that tourists check out when they visit.  Within 100 miles of your home there are bound to be museums, historical sites, hiking or biking trails,  or unique eateries that you haven’t yet explored.  Take a day or a long weekend and check them out. 
  • Plan.  When my sister-in-law decided to put away $50 from each paycheck, she had enough money to go to an all-inclusive resort in the tropics within 12-24 months.  Each of her family members did this and they were all able to go together.  Even small amounts add up over time.  Give up your daily coffee or eating out once a week and put it in a travel account. 
  • Be prepared.  My husband traveled to Europe for the first time FREE because he had his passport ready to go.  Another friend traveled to China at a reduced cost because a friend asked her to join her on business travel.  If you don’t have a passport, you’ll never get out of the country.  If you do, you might.
  • Make vacationing a priority.  I mentioned this week that my parents were fans of extensive road trips (from Fargo, ND we DROVE to South Padre Island, TX and to Banff in Alberta, Canada – and we’ve done this with our kids as well).  Growing up on a farm, the only way my parents could escape work was to physically leave.  So we did, whether we had money or not.  Years without money included very rustic camping and some hotels we’d rather forget.  But we also created memories that last a lifetime.

Regardless of how you choose to travel, I encourage you to figure out a way to take a real break from the day-to-day.

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Really, You Need A Vacation

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Have you ever been in a meeting with someone and thought – or muttered under your breath – “SHE needs a vacation!”?  There’s a reason we’ve all done this – it’s because we inherently know that going on a vacation releves stress.

So why has it been so long since YOU took one?

Many studies have shown the benefits of vacations to our health.  Specifically, those folks who don’t take vacations are more prone to heart attacks and other nasty consequences.  (You can check out one article here… and there are many more if you search.)  In the short term, vacationing improves your sleep and reaction times as well.

Personally, I know that even vacations that have had stressful moments (and most do) have resulted in a calmer me upon my return home.  And just as family memories are built on short trips as well as longer ones, even taking a day to just be at home with no obligations can serve as the mini-vacation I sometimes need.

So figure out when you can take a break – for your health.

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Family Time On The Road

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I have a confession to make.  I don’t remember a lot of day-to-day details of my childhood.  Most of the memories I have were during a trip taken – whether to visit relatives, tag along on a business trip, or on an extensive road-trip that my parents were particularly fond of making.

Fast forward to adulthood, this realization wasn’t lost on me.  Traveling with family is a unique time to bond, learn more about each other, and share mutual experiences.  “Collect experiences and adventures, not things,” is pretty much our family motto.  And we’ve been lucky to collect many adventures along the way.

If you’d rather not take my word for it, perhaps this quote from Psychology Today will bolster your belief:

An international group of researchers led by Purdue University Xinran Lehto concluded that family vacations contribute positively to family bonding, communication and solidarity. Vacations promote what is called the “crescive bond” (in sociological parlance, a “shared experience”) by fostering growing and enduring connections. Shared family memories and time spent together isolated from ordinary everyday activities (school, work, and so on) help to promote these positive ties. Though family vacations can have their own share of stress, the benefits outweigh the risks, even in families that are not particularly close, according to Lehto and co-authors.

Our close-to-home trips created as many memories as those thousands of miles away.  The key is simply carving off time to be with those we love and being present in the experience with them.  While it should be possible at home, it often isn’t.  A family vacation creates an environment where it can’t help but happen.

Oh yeah, there are a few stories of one of us melting down along the way (there are even pictures of a few instances!)… but that just adds to the memories we now cherish.

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Retired In Place

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As I thought about today’s post, I couldn’t get this one out of my head… so here it is again.

Since this post, I’ve seen this state referred to as “Retired in Place.”  My experience was a bit more dramatic than simply retiring, but I had left just the same.

Originally posted July 18th as “Burnout!”  Enjoy!

Are you suffering from burnout?

Boy, I sure have. I’ve cried in corporate bathrooms. Lashed out at co-workers. Taken my stress out on family. I’ve jokingly said that a job was taking years away from my life that I could otherwise spend with my future grandchildren.

But burnout isn’t funny at all. Laughing about how much we attempt to balance is just a way to try to get through it. Justify it somehow.

I recently came across an article on burnout that really brought back memories for me. And not very good ones, I’ll say. The women cited in the article that truly burned out reminded me of when I left the job that sent me to the bathroom to cry several times each week. As I had my final meeting with my manager he asked, “Why did you give up?”

And I had. In my head I can replay the moment when I gave up because it was all too much and I didn’t think I had the support I needed to get through it. What I didn’t know is that anyone else knew that I’d quit in my head.

Of course they did and as the author points out in the article, the people around those suffering from burnout know as well. They’re just waiting to see how much longer the individual can hold it all together.

As I said, I left the job but I didn’t leave the company I was working for. I don’t think a person has to jump ship in order to regain control – though sometimes it may be necessary. Finding a way to use our strengths is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to find balance and to move away from that burned out state.

More on strengths here…

Breaking Free

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Thanks to an enlightening business conversation with a consultant friend of mine, I’ve been thinking about the “status quo” and how, at various times in our lives, we really need to break free from the usual.

Speaking from my own experience, breaking free from the status quo is what I needed to do when I chose to begin my own business. Not to say that the status quo is all bad. In fact, from the outside looking in it can seem like your status quo is a pretty good gig. Of course, that can make it all the harder to move toward something new when friends, family and coworkers think that you’ve lost your mind as you consider your future.

Remember: it’s not about them. It’s about you.

Only you know when your focus has left the building. When your passion has begun to wane. When what used to energize you now drains you. When you dread getting out of bed each morning because of the promise of what lies ahead.

And only you know when it’s time to break free.

Coaching: Commitment

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Commitment: a pledge or promise, an obligation, being engaged, involved.  Are you ready to think about commitment?  If so, let’s go forward with this week’s round of coaching questions.  As always, I encourage you to take time to really think about your answers.  Write them down if that will help them sink in for you.

Here we go…

What are you committed to?  When we recognize our commitments it gives them more power and helps us to understand the importance the commitment has in our lives.  Our commitments actually define us as who we are, so recognizing what we’ve chosen to commit to brings clarity in our understanding of ourselves.

How can understanding your own commitment(s) help you understand others?  Do you have someone in your life with a commitment you don’t understand?  How would your attitude change toward them if you concentrated on understanding their commitment and passion instead of what the focus of their commitment is?  We can’t all be passionate about the same things…

What are you not committed to that you wish you were or think you should be?  Analyze that.  What makes you think you should be committed when you haven’t been so far?  If you decide to make a commitment, how will you go about doing that?

Most importantly, understand that commitment is a verb.  If I say that I’m committed to my marriage and then do nothing to foster the health of my relationship, how committed am I?  Now that you recognize what you’ve chosen to commit to, define what that means.  How will you exercise your commitment?  Maintain that commitment?

Your commitments reflect your values, your personality, and your priorities.  Recognize, nurture and celebrate them.

Coaching Challenge: Celebrate

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Each day gives us something we can celebrate.  We just need to be ready to see it; ready to shout out a rousing “woo hoo!”  Everyone has something to celebrate.  Today, I challenge you to celebrate.

Here we go…

  • Find something to celebrate today.  It could be your accomplishment or someone else’s.  The celebration can be big or small.  Just celebrate.
  • Plan a celebration.  A birthday.  A retirement.  A reunion.  Find an excuse to celebrate with family and friends.
  • Celebrate an important relationship.  Your time with your loved ones might not be as long as you hope.  Let someone you love know how much he or she means to you while you can.  As often as you can.
  • Acknowledge a milestone you met this week.  They happen all the time.  Did you meet a deadline?  Finish a project?  Pass an anniversary date?  You don’t have to go tell everyone you did it – simply acknowledging your work and time passed is good.  An internal celebration just for you.
  • Find a “win” to celebrate.  Yours or someone else’s.  Perhaps your child got an “A” on a tough assignment.  Or your spouse made a big sale at work.  Or you were able to get a client to re-up on a contract.  Make a favorite dinner or uncork some wine (for the adults, not the kids!).

However you choose to do it, choose to celebrate!

Thanks for reading! Now head on over to Facebook and join me there!

Coaching Challenge: Procrastination

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It’s the rare individual who never procrastinates, so I’m going to go with the assumption that we could all improve in this area.  That means that I’m going to throw out some challenges instead of having you think about your procrastination.  C’mon!  We all need to quit putting off something.  Time to quit thinking and start doing!

Here we go…

  • Scrub your to-do list.  What’s been on there the longest?  Dig deep and figure out why you’re avoiding that task.  Do what you need to do to get it done or give the task to someone else.  No to-do list?  Create one.
  • Be honest with yourself about the last time you had to work under pressure because of your procrastination.  Recognize what you could have otherwise done.  Apologize to those you negatively impacted.  Resolve to behave differently next time.
  • Perhaps you’ve identified yourself as a chronic procrastinator.  Go back and read the articles and books linked from each post this week.  Change.
  • Identify something that you always delay doing – like my example of house cleaning.  Create or find a monitoring system to help keep you honest and timely with that chore.  Use it.
  • Think about the biggest thing you’ve been avoiding.  Identify how it ties to your long-term goals.  Remember why it landed on your list in the first place.  Think about who your procrastination impacts and who will be impacted when you complete the goal.  Recognize the motivation this creates and take advantage of it to get it done.

Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. ~Pablo Picasso

So What If I Procrastinate?

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At this point in the week there may be a few of you thinking, “Yeah, I procrastinate.  So what?  It doesn’t hurt anything.”

Well, you’re wrong.  Procrastination does hurt some things: you, those around you, and your work.

Procrastination hurts you.  While there is evidence that procrastinators are healthier while they are procrastinating, stress that comes with the rush to make a deadline more than makes up for it.  Research led by Dr. Fuschia Sirois of the University of Windsor found that,

…trait procrastination (our tendency to procrastinate in most areas of our lives quite chronically) is linked with poor health in adults, and that this association is best explained by the direct effects of stress.  (Learn more in the post by Timothy A. Pychyl, PhD - Unnecessary Illusions and the Truth about Procrastination.)

Procrastination hurts those around you.  Your delays impact others.  Period.  To quote Dr. Pychyl again (this time from Psychology Today):

In the name of “working better under pressure,” too often social engagements are canceled, promises are broken, and favors called in to have others problem solve last-minute catastrophes (a jammed printer becomes a national emergency). Anyone within the vicinity suffers the intense pressure of the looming deadline. Procrastination harms relationships at home and at work.

Procrastination hurts your work.  Funny thing – people say they work better under pressure but research simply doesn’t support it at all.  In layman’s terms, our brains break down when we are under pressure.  Sian Bielock, PhD offers a more clinical explanation in her piece Losing Your Cool Under Pressure:

…under pressure, the prefrontal cortex (and the working-memory housed there) stops working the way it should. This malfunction of the prefrontal cortex also wreaks havoc on our ability to control our emotions. A major component of working-memory is inhibition, which helps us keep what we want in mind and what we don’t want out. It also helps us control our thoughts, emotions, and behavior.

So procrastinate if you choose.  When you do, know that your choice comes with a price to you, those around you, and your work.

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Quit Procrastinating!

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How can we inspire ourselves to quit procrastinating?  Especially for those “don’t wanna” responsibilities that we know we have to do ourselves?  There are a variety of forcing functions we can put in place to get moving in the right direction.  Here are a few that I’ve found to work:

  • Find an accountability partner.  Saying out-loud that you are going to get something done by a certain time often helps – if only to save embarrassment.
  • Practice The Nothing Alternative. Writer Raymond Chandler avoids procrastination with a simple rule; “If I can’t write, I will do nothing.”  (Noted in Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney)  Setting aside time to do a specific task without any interruptions can be very effective.  Plan for it.
  • Reward yourself.   Hey, if bribes work for the kids, maybe they’ll work for you, too!  Depending on the size of the task, the reward can be small or large.  Is it a beautiful day outside?  Reward yourself with a walk in the sunshine when you’ve completed the undesirable chore.  Enjoy an afternoon coffee?  Tell yourself you’ll only go out to get your coffee after you’ve completed the dreaded deed.
  • Monitor yourself.  I find this particularly helpful for things I don’t like to do that come up again and again – like house cleaning.  When I keep track of what’s been cleaned and when, two things happen.  First, I know how long it’s been since I last did what I’m avoiding and it shames me into taking action.  Second, I don’t keep doing the easy jobs over and over simply to feel like I’m cleaning – the chart shows me that it hasn’t been that long since I’ve done them.
  • Tackle it in the morning.  As you’ve read here before, our willpower is strongest in the morning and for tasks we dread, we need all the willpower we can get!
  • Remind yourself why the task landed on your to-do list in the first place.  Remembering the connection to a long-term goal, dearly held values, or a loved one can be a powerful motivator – even with seemingly menial chores.

Perhaps we shouldn’t have to put tricks in place to force ourselves to complete a task.  However, we do tend to play mind games with ourselves to avoid them.  Sometimes we have to do the same to get things done.

Related Posts: Why We Procrastinate; So What If I Procrastinate?; Coaching Challenge: Procrastination

Coaching: Long Term Goals

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Earlier this week you read this here: The more I learn about long-term goals, the more convinced I am that setting them is key to achieving shorter-term goals as well.  It’s impossible to share all the research supporting this idea in one or two blog posts (though I’m happy to share more if asked).  If you are trusting enough to take my word for it, let’s dig into some thoughts and questions around setting long-term goals.

Here we go…

What are your long-term goals?  How much thought have you given to them?  Are they challenging and specific (good goals need to be)?

What exercises have you done to envision your future?  Options include the Best Possible Future Selves Exercise, vision boards, or, as Vision Architect offers – Discovery Boards.

It’s funny, but when doing a search online I found several sites that said setting long-term goals was more difficult than setting short-term goals.  I’m going to challenge that thought.  It is easier to see the goals we need to set immediately because we don’t have to take the time to find them within ourselves – what we need to do is right there in front of us.  Long-term goals are not hard to set; making the time to set long-term goals is what eludes us.

With that in mind, what would it take for you to make time to vision your future?  How can you make it a priority?

There is so much benefit to aligning short-term goals to long-term goals!  I hope you are able to make the time to find your future.

Lifelong Goals

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The more I learn about long-term goals, the more convinced I am that setting them is key to achieving shorter-term goals as well.  When our short-term goals tie to a bigger picture, we tend to stay on the path toward our big goal and are more likely to stay positive when we complete smaller goals along the way.

Last month I told you about the Best Possible Future Self Exercise and shared this about my own experience:

When I went through this exercise, I saw myself as very healthy, agile and active, even though these attributes weren’t the main focus of my thoughts in the exercise.  Seeing this for a few days made me realize the importance of my health wasn’t matching the priority I was giving it in my day-to-day life.  My realization from this was that I wouldn’t achieve my long-term goal of having good health if I didn’t implement shorter-term goals that related to that goal.  Knowing that those goals have a bigger purpose gives me energy to keep pursuing them, even when I have setbacks and fail.

Today I can tell you that since this discovery I’ve been exercising regularly.  And even with no short-term goal beyond staying active, I find that I’m pushing myself to become physically stronger.  If I miss a day it’s simply a bump in the road on the way to my long-term goal of being healthy, agile and active when I’m in my 80s and 90s.  If I miss two days in a row, then I remind myself of the big picture and I’ve been able to easily get back on track.

It’s a different experience than I’ve had with exercising in the past and I know it’s due to tying today’s activities to my long-term goal.  Doing so motivates me to stay focused on the final outcome of being an active and healthy octogenarian.  I’ve got a long way to go to achieve that goal and I’m looking forward to working on it for years to come!

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See Your Destination

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It’s heartbreaking to see a friend who feels stuck in his circumstance.  Actually, if the person feels stuck there, it’s likely true that he is stuck.  One has to see the way out in order to get out, after all.

That’s what happens when all we can see is the chaos, disappointment and fear around us.  Getting out requires us to lift up our heads and see a better place down the road.  It requires us to see a new destination.  It requires us to ignore what is going on around us to move toward that new and better place.

And that, Dear Reader, is more easily said than done.

It’s easier to stay in a hated job than to update a resume.

It’s less frightening to stay committed to a spouse lost to addiction than to venture out into the world, alone.

It’s more comfortable to stay unemployed than to go back to school.

It’s less demanding to take pills for high blood pressure, high cholesterol or back pain than to commit to a workout plan.

However, if you can feel the happiness of working in the right job, believe you have the power to take care of yourself, realize the control you have to determine your health or understand what a new degree could do for your life, then the statements above cease to be true.

The current circumstance doesn’t change, does it?  The destination does.  If we believe we are destined to live the life we have today, then today is what we will have for many todays to come.  On the other hand, if we lift up our heads and look to the horizon a new destination might be revealed.

Moving toward a destination turns the current circumstance into a part of the journey, not somewhere we are destined to live.

Fix your eyes on the horizon.

Coaching: Willpower

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This week may have been an eye-opener and a little disappointing, perhaps.  After all, it’s much easier lay blame for not reaching our goals on a lack of willpower, thinking we have little to do with how much we’ve been given.  Some people seem to have so much discipline and self-control that it must be genetically given, right?

Well, even if there is a grain of truth to that, you can work your way to being one of them.  Key word: work.  Want to reach your goals?  Managing your willpower and ego depletion is must.

With that in mind, let’s dig in to this week’s mini coaching engagement.  Given that clarity comes more quickly with writing things down, I encourage you to grab a pen and paper and really think about your answers.

Here we go…

By what hour in the day do you feel like your willpower has been totally depleted?  Observing yourself, what cycles do you notice?  What hours are better for you?  What’s sapping your willpower?  Who is sapping your willpower?  Remember that you have a finite amount of willpower each day.  How can you rearrange your day to take the most advantage these morning reserves?

How effectively are you fueling this power?  Skipping breakfast, reaching for a third cup of coffee, or snacking on candy mid afternoon may all play into the willpower cycles you identified above.  What can you do to serve your body better?  What needs to change to even out the cycles?

If you identified an hour that is particularly bad – say the first hour at home when you crash at the end of your workday – what can you do to bump up your self-control before walking through the door?

This week provided a very limited view of what can be done to boost willpower.  If you’re interested in learning more be sure to grab a copy of Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney.

You can find all books mentioned in this blog online at the Coach Carolyn Store.

Ego Depletion

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Before we dive into what can be done to increase – or at least not deplete – our willpower, I think you’ll find it useful to understand what sorts of activities tap into our willpower reserves.  Roy F. Baumeister, author of Willpower, began referring to the process of willpower exhaustion as “ego depletion” years ago, a term that the psychological community uses frequently.

When I think about willpower, I tend to think of the control I have over a particular act.  Choosing to skip dessert.  Popping in the DVD to begin my exercise routine.  Limiting my clothing budget.  Not yelling when I want to scream at someone.  Those sorts of things…

Turns out that we are in an ego depleting state for about four hours a day.  Four hours!  This is because there are, according to Baumeister and his coauthor, John Tierney, actually four categories of ego depletion:

  • Controlling our thoughts,
  • Controlling our emotions,
  • Impulse control, and
  • Performance control.

So my limited view on willpower only included impulse control, not the other three.  And we are doing the other three all the time, are we not?

If you think about the last rough day you had at work, you likely had to persevere when you felt like quitting (performance control), controlled your thoughts so you could do so, and maybe even held back tears or forced a smile when you really weren’t feeling that way inside.  All day long.  When you got home perhaps you dropped into a chair instead of exercising, snapped at your spouse, or grabbed a pint of Ben & Jerry’s for supper instead of eating a nutritious meal.  You hit the bottom of your willpower bucket, ego completely depleted.

What to do?  The first piece of advice given in Willpower and by other goal-setting theorists is to do one thing at time.  Rough patch at work?  Not the time to quit smoking.  Decided to quit smoking?  Not the time to change jobs.  Moving to a new position at work?  Not the time to start exercising after a multi-year hiatus.

Too often we decide that everything is wrong and so we’re going to fix it all at once.  Then we fail and declare that we have no willpower.  Well, that’s exactly true because our daily allocation of willpower was quickly depleted.

And now you know why.

Learn more about the relationship between realizing goals and willpower in my Goal Setting Workshop next month.  Reserve your spot today!

Willpower – Why Bother?

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No doubt that a few of you looked at the title of yesterday’s post and thought, “Willpower?  She’s going to post about willpower?  Think I’ll skip to next week…”

Like you, I was once someone who thought that I didn’t have much willpower and so I sometimes felt like I didn’t have control over certain aspects of my life.  Now I know differently.  Willpower is a muscle that can be flexed, trained and developed.  Sure, some individuals might be born with more willpower than others.  However, that doesn’t give the rest of us an excuse to ignore ours altogether.

But why not?  What difference does it make whether we consciously pay attention to willpower or not?  Turns out there are all sorts of reasons that we should.  Drawing from Creating Your Best Life, here are a few examples of what happens when self-control is ignored:

  • A Pennsylvania State University study of preschoolers in a Head Start program found that a child’s inability to control impulsive responses or pay attention led to later difficulties in educational settings, and particularly in math.
  • Teens and adults with poor self-control are more prone to problem drinking, eating disorders, criminal behavior, out-of-wedlock births, and substance abuse problems.
  • A lack of self-regulation among adults often results in poor work performance and fewer promotions.
  • Low self-control is linked to poor interpersonal relationships, lack of popularity, and aggressive behavior throughout life.
  • Anxiety disorders, depression, phobias, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and other psychological disorders are more prevalent among people with low self-control.

Conversely, when we tap into our willpower, we can see amazing benefits.

  • More resilience and ease coping with set-backs
  • Better performance in school and at work
  • Enhanced popularity and peer trust
  • More empathy for others
  • Less likelihood of feeling shame and more likelihood of experiencing appropriate guilt when necessary and taking steps to right wrongs instead of blaming others for shortcomings
  • Fewer eating disorders, substance-abuse problems, and other addictive behaviors
  • Greater ability to save more money and spend less impulsively
  • More success in accomplishing goals that involve willpower, such as weight loss, smoking cessation, and fitness improvements

So more willpower is good, right?  How do we go about increasing what we’ve got?  More on that tomorrow…

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Resistance Training For Your ‘Willpower’ Muscles : NPR

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The more I learn about willpower, self-efficacy and our self control, the more I find myself telling the story about how and why we need to flex this important muscle.

Instead of simply telling those around me about it, this week I’ll tell you more about it, too. The article below is a great place to start.  (I can’t wait to read the book that inspired the article!)  So check it out and meet me back here tomorrow….

Resistance Training For Your ‘Willpower’ Muscles : NPR.

You can find all books mentioned in this blog online at the Coach Carolyn Store.

Timely Generosity

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Time is obviously a limited resource for all of us.  We only have 24 hours in each day and seemingly endless demands bombard us from the time we wake up until we place our head on the pillow.  Often exhausted when we land there.

There are many of you out there – you know who you are – who would happily write a check instead of giving your time.  Whether to the PTA at your child’s school, local charities, or fund-raising events hosted at work, we’re sometimes thankful to have the option to just pay away the guilt instead of actually being a part of the action.

Other opportunities to be generous with our time come up when we’re asked for favors from friends, family or coworkers.  When we’re called upon to mentor someone beginning his or her career.  When neighbors gather to discuss neighborhood improvements or issues.

With so many places and ways to be involved, it’s hard to choose anything at all.  Fair enough.  Still, I challenge you to choose something.  One thing.  Any thing.

As suggested in the Looking Outward post, choosing one or two causes to focus on can bring clarity and focus in the giving of time.  Choose something and then do something.  Get involved for just an hour a week.  Volunteering makes us happier and makes the world around us a better place.

And if that’s too much to ask, remember to be generous with your time to those around you.  Children who need help with homework, a spouse who wants your opinion, or a former coworker who has requested a connection in your network – each of these scenarios asks for your generosity.

Give generously of your time without expecting anything in return.  Feels good, doesn’t it?

Habitually Generous

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As the weekend came to an end, I couldn’t help but reflect on how blessed I was by the generosity of others.  People who were generous with their time, gifts, belongings, talents, and food made for a remarkable weekend.  Naturally, this lead to some introspection about how generous I am toward others.

Wikipedia describes generosity as “the habit of giving freely without expecting anything in return.”

“…the habit:” an acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically (also Wikipedia).  Am I automatically generous?

“…giving freely without expecting anything in return.”  Do I do so with no strings attached?

There’s no question that I want to be truly generous.  I understand the beauty in generosity every time I’m the humble recipient of someone else’s kindness.  And this symbiotic giving and receiving results in increased happiness for both the giver and receiver.  Perhaps this is why all of the mostly widely held belief systems in the word remind us to be generous.

Generosity as a habit; I’m going to work on that.

Blessed by the generosity of others ~ enjoying a flight over MN lakes courtesy of my generous neighbor.

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Coaching: Patience

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Have you been patiently waiting for today’s mini coaching post?  The wait is over.

Here we go…

It feels like a scaling exercise will work well as we think about patience this week.

Going with the assumption that everyone could stand to be more patient with something or someone, rate your patience on a scale from one to 10 where one has you at an off-the-charts stress-level as you impatiently wait for something as routine as your morning coffee brewing and 10 is letting every little and big thing chart its own course without so much as a care coming from you.  Where would you place yourself when it comes to your present circumstances?  Your patience with the people around you?  With yourself?

Where was your score the lowest?  How would you feel about practicing a bit more patience in this area or with this person?  What would it take for you to be more patient in this circumstance?  What would you gain by being more patient?  How would it impact the stress in your life?

Did your stress level go down by simply thinking about being more patient?  Did you begin to breathe more deeply?  Are you feeling the benefits as you think about being more patient?

What will you do to remind yourself to practice patience in the next week?

Remember, practice makes perfect.